Post by Abu Abdillah al-Fadhlani on Feb 12, 2004 13:22:14 GMT 8
RULING ON CELEBRATING VALENTINE'S DAY (Part 4)
Some people may wonder, and say, you mean to deprive us of love, but in this day and age we express our feelings and emotions – what is so wrong with that?
We say:
Firstly:
It is a mistake to confuse what they call the day with what the real intentions are behind it. The love referred to on this day is romantic love, taking mistresses and lovers, boyfriends and girlfriends. It is known to be a day of promiscuity and sex for them, with no restraints or restrictions… They are not talking of pure love between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband, or at least they do not distinguish between the legitimate love in the relationship between husband and wife, and the forbidden love of mistresses and lovers. This festival for them is a means for everyone to express love.
Secondly:
Expression of feelings and emotions is not a justification for the Muslim to allocate a day for celebration based on his own thoughts and ideas, and to call it a festival, or make it like a festival or Eid. So how about when it is one of the festivals of the kuffaar?
In Islam, a husband loves his wife throughout the year, and he expresses that love towards her with gifts, in verse and in prose, in letters and in other ways, throughout the years – not just on one day of the year.
Thirdly:
There is no religion which encourages its followers to love and care for one another more than Islam does. This applies at all times and in all circumstances, not just on one particular day. Indeed, Islam encourages us to express our emotions and love at all times, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a man loves his brother, let him tell him that he loves him.” (narrated by Abu Dawood, 5124; al-Tirmidhi, 2329; it is saheeh).
And he said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you truly believe, and you will not truly believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something that, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread (the greeting of) salaam amongst yourselves.” (Narrated by Muslim, 54)
Fourthly:
Love in Islam is more general and more comprehensive; it is not restricted only to one kind of love, that between a man and a woman. There are many more kinds of love. There is the love of Allaah, love of His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them), love for good and righteous people, love and support for the religion, love of martyrdom for the sake of Allaah. There are many kinds of love. It is a dangerous mistake to restrict this broad meaning to this one kind of love.
Fifthly:
What these people think, that love before marriage is a good thing, is wrong, as has been proven in studies and by real-life experience. In a study conducted by the University of Cairo, on what they called “love marriage” and “traditional marriage”, the following was stated:
In marriages which came after a love story, 88% of cases ended in failure, i.e., the success rate was not more than 12%. But in cases of what the study calls traditional marriage, 70% were successful. In other words, the success rate in marriages described as traditional was six times more than those described as “love marriages”. (Risaalah ila Mu’minah, p. 255).
Now let us look at the state of affairs in western societies where Valentine’s Day is celebrated, and ask, what is the state of marriage relationships in those societies, and do these celebrations have any positive effect on interactions between husbands and wives?
Their own studies and statistics show the following:
1- In an American study done in 1407 AH/1987 CE, it states that 79% of men beat their womenfolk, especially if they are married…! (al-Qabas newspaper, 15/2/1988).
2- A study carried out by the National American Office for Mental Health states the following:
- 17% of women who go to emergency rooms are victims of beatings by their husbands or boyfriends.
- 83% of those who have previously been admitted to hospital at least once for treatment of injuries, were admitted as a result of beating.
The study added that there are more women who do not go to hospital for treatment, but deal with their injuries at home.
3- In a report of the Central American Agency for Examination [FPT] it states that every 18 seconds there is a woman who is beaten by her husband somewhere in America.
4- American Time magazine stated that around 4,000 wives out of approximately 6 million who are beaten die as a result of that beating.
5- In a German study it said that no less that 100,000 women annually are exposed to acts of physical or psychological abuse on the part of their husbands or the men they live with. The real figure may exceed one million.
6- In France, approximately 2 million women face beatings.
7- In Britain, in an opinion poll in which 7,000 women took part, 28% of them said that they had been subjected to attacks by their husbands and boyfriends.
So how can we believe that Valentine’s Day is of any benefit to married couples? The truth is that it is a call for more permissiveness and immorality, and the forming of forbidden relationships.
The husband who sincerely loves his wife does not need this holiday to remind him of his love. He expresses his love for his wife at all times and on all occasions.
continue Part 5
website: www.islam-qa.com or 63.175.194.25/topics/hobb/Valentines_eng.html
Some people may wonder, and say, you mean to deprive us of love, but in this day and age we express our feelings and emotions – what is so wrong with that?
We say:
Firstly:
It is a mistake to confuse what they call the day with what the real intentions are behind it. The love referred to on this day is romantic love, taking mistresses and lovers, boyfriends and girlfriends. It is known to be a day of promiscuity and sex for them, with no restraints or restrictions… They are not talking of pure love between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband, or at least they do not distinguish between the legitimate love in the relationship between husband and wife, and the forbidden love of mistresses and lovers. This festival for them is a means for everyone to express love.
Secondly:
Expression of feelings and emotions is not a justification for the Muslim to allocate a day for celebration based on his own thoughts and ideas, and to call it a festival, or make it like a festival or Eid. So how about when it is one of the festivals of the kuffaar?
In Islam, a husband loves his wife throughout the year, and he expresses that love towards her with gifts, in verse and in prose, in letters and in other ways, throughout the years – not just on one day of the year.
Thirdly:
There is no religion which encourages its followers to love and care for one another more than Islam does. This applies at all times and in all circumstances, not just on one particular day. Indeed, Islam encourages us to express our emotions and love at all times, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a man loves his brother, let him tell him that he loves him.” (narrated by Abu Dawood, 5124; al-Tirmidhi, 2329; it is saheeh).
And he said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you truly believe, and you will not truly believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something that, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread (the greeting of) salaam amongst yourselves.” (Narrated by Muslim, 54)
Fourthly:
Love in Islam is more general and more comprehensive; it is not restricted only to one kind of love, that between a man and a woman. There are many more kinds of love. There is the love of Allaah, love of His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them), love for good and righteous people, love and support for the religion, love of martyrdom for the sake of Allaah. There are many kinds of love. It is a dangerous mistake to restrict this broad meaning to this one kind of love.
Fifthly:
What these people think, that love before marriage is a good thing, is wrong, as has been proven in studies and by real-life experience. In a study conducted by the University of Cairo, on what they called “love marriage” and “traditional marriage”, the following was stated:
In marriages which came after a love story, 88% of cases ended in failure, i.e., the success rate was not more than 12%. But in cases of what the study calls traditional marriage, 70% were successful. In other words, the success rate in marriages described as traditional was six times more than those described as “love marriages”. (Risaalah ila Mu’minah, p. 255).
Now let us look at the state of affairs in western societies where Valentine’s Day is celebrated, and ask, what is the state of marriage relationships in those societies, and do these celebrations have any positive effect on interactions between husbands and wives?
Their own studies and statistics show the following:
1- In an American study done in 1407 AH/1987 CE, it states that 79% of men beat their womenfolk, especially if they are married…! (al-Qabas newspaper, 15/2/1988).
2- A study carried out by the National American Office for Mental Health states the following:
- 17% of women who go to emergency rooms are victims of beatings by their husbands or boyfriends.
- 83% of those who have previously been admitted to hospital at least once for treatment of injuries, were admitted as a result of beating.
The study added that there are more women who do not go to hospital for treatment, but deal with their injuries at home.
3- In a report of the Central American Agency for Examination [FPT] it states that every 18 seconds there is a woman who is beaten by her husband somewhere in America.
4- American Time magazine stated that around 4,000 wives out of approximately 6 million who are beaten die as a result of that beating.
5- In a German study it said that no less that 100,000 women annually are exposed to acts of physical or psychological abuse on the part of their husbands or the men they live with. The real figure may exceed one million.
6- In France, approximately 2 million women face beatings.
7- In Britain, in an opinion poll in which 7,000 women took part, 28% of them said that they had been subjected to attacks by their husbands and boyfriends.
So how can we believe that Valentine’s Day is of any benefit to married couples? The truth is that it is a call for more permissiveness and immorality, and the forming of forbidden relationships.
The husband who sincerely loves his wife does not need this holiday to remind him of his love. He expresses his love for his wife at all times and on all occasions.
continue Part 5
website: www.islam-qa.com or 63.175.194.25/topics/hobb/Valentines_eng.html