What Is MARRIAGE
1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an
institution
for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's
Degree
and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring
and
suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first
year
of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year,
the
woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak
and
the NEIGHBOUR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends.
You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has,
you
wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and
found
himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and
found
himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband
gives
and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't
know
son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man
doesn't
know
his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son,
EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage,
it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a
10-year
married man looks happy, we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for
her.
They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in
woman's sink.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to
let
him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat
in
Thailand.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin.
They
just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.
19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when
they
try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the
marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right, I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it
only
seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A
BEAUTIFUL
HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT
HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but
if you
get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU
WEARING
YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I
MARRIED THE
WRONG MAN.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he
still
ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he
received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU
CAN HAVE MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be
sure of
one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.
